POWERtalk Stirling Blog

For many people, one of the scariest things in life is to stand up in front of a group of people and give a speech.  It doesn’t matter whether the group is friends - e.g. at a wedding – or whether it is a group of strangers, the feelings are the same.  We can prepare well and practise but it does not take away that fear.  Of course, the more one speaks in public the more confident one becomes but for many the occasion is a ‘one off’.  So how can we deal with these fears and positively enjoy the occasion?

‘Fear’ or F.E.A.R. is simply ‘Future Expectations Appearing Real’.  We create our own fearful feelings through our imagination – the ‘What ifs’

‘What if I forget what I am going to say?’

‘What if I stumble over the words?’

‘What if I bore everyone?’

Why does this negative internal chatter affect us so much and how can we change it?

We have a conscious and subconscious part of our brain.  The conscious is that part which takes in information and makes decisions.  The subconscious controls the reactions to the messages sent to it by the conscious, it never questions or makes decisions, it just believes what it is told.  Consequently all those negative messages our conscious is sending to the subconscious are being acted upon.  The result is our stomach churns, our mouth goes dry and we feel really nervous.  To change the way we feel we need to change those negative voices into positive ones. 

The phrases need to be in the first person ‘I’.  When the subconscious hears ‘I’ it becomes alert and ready for a command.  The instruction should be in the present tense (it’s happening now) and it needs to be specific and positive.

For example –

‘I am speaking clearly and confidently.’

Not

‘I am not stumbling over my words.’

Practise this and replace every negative statement with a positive one.

In everyday life avoid speaking negatively to your friends or colleagues, it has the same effect on your subconscious.  Instead of saying ‘I am really worried/nervous about this.’ You could say, ‘I am working at controlling my nerves.’

Finally, remember to believe in yourself and overcome those last minute nerves.  I recall many years ago, standing in the wings of a stage waiting to make my entrance in my first amateur dramatic play.  I tried to remember my first line (or any other line for that matter) and nothing!  I was beginning to go into panic when I stopped and told myself – ‘I’ve learnt my lines, I have successfully rehearsed them, just trust yourself.’  And sure enough, as I stepped on to the stage the words began to flow.

Remember, when you come to make your speech do your preparation, practise your speech, think positively and trust yourself .  Do all of these things and enjoy the experience.  

Lesley Smith

What do I write on a blog? Would other people be interested in what I have to say?  Who knows?  But here goes.  I joined POWERtalk GB many years ago — long before I had even heard of the Internet, webpages and blogs.  So I definitely did not join in order to become a blogger.

When the Edinburgh Toastmistress club was started up again in 1971 I was working as an Administrator but had just landed a job as a Further Education lecturer.  It occurred to me that this might just give me more confidence to stand in front of a class of adults, some of whom could well be older than me, and teach them.  I still remember the first topic I was given — “You have won £1 million. What would you spend it on?”  I think I spoke for about a minute.  But that was the start, both of my Further Education career and my ongoing fascination and involvement with communication in the widest sense.

Communication is so important in life.  We are social beings, but not perfect, so to be able to hone our skills in speaking, listening, organising, debating, contributing to discussions in meetings, minute-taking and finally chairing meetings in a welcoming, friendly, supportive atmosphere of a club meeting is one of the major plus points of ITC, now POWERtalk. 

At school I was terrified to open my mouth at a debate; at university it was an ordeal to present a paper to my tutorial group.  Taking minutes was fine for me after my secretarial training, but to take part and to chair a meeting…

I enjoyed teaching in Further Education.  Yes, some of the students were older than me.  Some were men and women who wanted to change careers of get back into the workplace after a break.  I enjoyed researching the subjects I taught — at the same time as I was enjoying researching for the speeches I was making in ITC. The opportunity for promotion came and I had the confidence to  go for it and eventually became head of section.  More communication skills were required now — delegating, listening, organising timetables, counselling and meetings. 

In ITC I was taking part (and winning) speech contests and debating — how proud my parents were with my achievements.  I held office, club right up to region and finally helped organize an international convention here in Scotland.  This would not have happened without the support of fellow ITC members, each of us putting our ITC training into action.

I am still a member of POWERtalk, now retired from lecturing, but still learning and improving my communication skills with my friends in The Rovers Club and Stirling POWERtalk.

If you have just been surfing the internet and found yourself reading this, I hope it was of interest — it’s never too late to improve your communication skills for business or for pleasure. 

Diana Porterfield

The Rovers Training Weekend in Carlisle commenced with an informal meal at SannaS Sardinian Restaurant on Friday night. Members enjoyed a relaxed atmosphere and there were a lot of favourable comments afterwards about the meal.

Saturday morning commenced with the AGM followed, after a short break by the speech contest. The winner of the contest was Yvonne Baker, pictured below receiving the Tibbie Brown trophy from club president, Rosemary Low.

President Rosemary presenting the trophy to winner Yvonne Baker

After lunch the club parliamentarian, Ruth Maltman, led a workshop on Practical Parliamentary Procedure. The second part of the afternoon was a mini debate chaired by Margaret Robertson.

In the evening we had a meal at the Crown and Mitre hotel followed by table topics led by Nancy Sanderson.

Members and Guests at the Crown and Mitre